I was in a fog. Morphine makes it pretty hard to grasp some concepts, I guess. That same nurse had to read the month-old “Dear John” letter to me five times before I understood that no one was going to be waiting for me when I got home.That was almost a year ago. Now I wake up in the morning in my apartment, turn off the alarm clock before it can make its awful noise, glance briefly at my Purple Heart, and start getting ready to face the day.The army changed my life, no question about that. They did the surgeries to patch me up and gave me prostheses and a wheelchair. Better prostheses, ones that may have restored my mobility, would have required more surgery, and I wasn't sure I was ready for that just yet, so the army helped to pay for the installation of hand controls and other disability modifications in a pick-up truck I bought. Employment? Uh, not so much.Regardless of all the laws and public service messages out there, the reality is that there are few civilian job. Not some contrived, trite string of wordsintended to make her mother feel guilty or to facilitate a means to anend, namely her freedom from her feminine prison. Kim knew it wasexactly what the 'other' Kim would have been planning before she (Tim)had been inserted into this life.Even that synopsis didn't feel right to her. Slowly, Kim was becomingaware that there was no 'other' Kim. What she felt was the residualmemory of a life that had never happened but had still had to play out. This way there would be a life for her to inherit once she had beentransformed. She had dragged it here with her when Ben and Tim causedthe world to shift in time. Now, all that was left of Tim was thememory of that boy who didn't want to be a girl, was repulsed byeverything it was to be a girl. He had wanted to BE WITH a girl, marrya girl, have children WITH a girl, but never wanted to BE a girl. Now the fact was that she was and had always been one. The dilemma was,how to reconcile that in her.
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